I’m breaking yet another self-imposed rule (I seem to be Mr. Rulebreaker these days) by blasting a hole in a training modality I don’t find to be particularly advisable. Granted, it’s being done at the behest of a client, nevertheless, I promised I wouldn’t do it.

Oh well, whatever.

What I’m going to be talking about today are kettlebells, that favorite training tool of the Original Evil Russian, Pavel Tsatouline (I wonder if he enjoys snowboarding as well).

Kettlebells look like this.

They come in several varieties and weights, measured in poods (18kg). Ironmind even sells a plate-loading version of a kettlebell, so you can progressively add resistance. There’s so much interest in kettlebell lifting, I’m surprised Nike hasn’t come out with a pink velour-covered women’s kettlebell.

So what’s the big deal with kettlebells? Well, if you didn’t happen to click the conveniently located link above, kettlebells are reputed to be an extremely effective training modality, increasing the various forms and incarnations of strength, good for cardiovascular conditioning, and (my personal favorite) developing explosiveness. That, and the insinuation that they came from Russia (which they didn’t) make kettlebells a prime candidate for “flavor of the month” training modality - you know how strength and conditioning types love super secret training programs from Eastern Bloc countries.

Let’s keep this short - all of the benefits that kettlebells allegedly deliver are attainable using other, safer methods, and this is my main problem with it. That, and trainers that attempt to inappropriately instruct their (unprepared) clientle in the complex lifts that comprise “kettlebell training.”

Look, if you are a stout or reasonably conditioned individual, and you wish to give something new a go, far be it for me to tell you what to do or what not to do. But I have a serious problem when someone receiving compensation as an expert is inappropriately using a training modality “just because.”

Here’s a listing of the potential shortcomings unique to kettlebell lifting:

1) Complex lifts and difficult postures are required. The mainstay of kettlebell lifting is the clean and jerk - not exactly the simplest movement to perform correctly, and even more difficult to instruct, even to a conditioned athlete. Other exercise gems are the bent press, the snatch, unilateral overhead press, turkish get-up, and the ubiquitous warm-up, kettlebell swings. I don’t think I need to illustrate any further potential dangers in swinging a 36 lb iron ball around your head and nuts. Needless to say, in the interest of proper progression, I would not recommend neophytes or unconditioned individuals anywhere near these exercises.

2) Unilateral movements and instability. I’m not a big fan of one-side training when it involves crossing the spine. Here’s why - when you unevenly load the spine, torsional force is transmitted through the vertebrae, stressing the joints. Some may say great, that’s exactly what you want, but to me it seems to be an injury lurking in the wings, just waiting to happen. Additionally, it throws off your balance to only load one side for strength training purposes. Creating an unstable environment for strength training doesn’t train your balance, it exposes you to greater risk of injury when you (inevitably) lose your balance.

3) High repetitions coupled with high volume = overuse injuries. The typical number of reps completed (at ballistic force) during a kettlebell workout is 50. So, conservatively speaking, let’s take 50 reps 2 times a week for 50 weeks (a year’s time)…that equals 5000 high-velocity, high-force reps delivering impacts to the joints of the wrist, shoulder, and spine in the course of a year - seems like a likely recipe for an overuse injury or two, unless you already possess the hardiest of connective tissue. Some trainees will perform a kettlebell workout 4 days a week, with as many as 200 swings just for warmup. Wow.

There are some other things that suck about kettlebells, but are not unique to kettlebells - they exist for other training modalities as well. I’ve merely listed kettlebell-specific issues here.

Well, dear reader, I hope you enjoyed my ranting (especially you, Rob. I know at least 20 guys at Renzo’s that will now beat the crap out of me for writing this, since they love their kettlebell swings). Feel free to go on your merry way - and steer clear of the blacksmith’s, lest you be tempted to commission a ‘bell.

Above: Nikita is disappointed in you, America.

You know, I’ve got to hand it to my clients - if I didn’t have any, I’d never be kept abreast in latest happenings on in the world of health and fitness. This latest gem comes from Rob Cherry (round of applause for Rob - you get the kettlebell posting that was promised you).

According to the Trust for America’s Health, figures show that the national rate of obesity went up to 24.5% - wow. Considering that one is not classified as obese until they attain the hefty body fat percentage of 25% for men, and 30% for women, things aren’t looking too good for the good ol’ USA health-wise.

Incidentally, I don’t understand why BMI is still the accepted medical standard for measuring obesity. Since BMI only takes into account height and weight, it is a poor measure of actual body fat (since the body mass as a whole is being considered). Individuals who possess greater muscle mass or bone density will appear to have high BMIs, even though their actual level of bodyfat may be quite low (football players come to mind as an example). But, I suppose it is a quick and easy way to assess overall body mass - why does everything involving health, wellness, and exercise have to be so imprecise?

Even more suprising (or not, depending on your perspective) 64.5% of Americans are considered at least overweight. In case you were wondering, that’s Americans age 20 or over. 64.5% - that’s roughly 127 million people.

Well, it looks as though the current health guidelines aren’t working out too well. At least I know one Russian who won’t be out of work anytime soon.

It seems that injuries are a way of life for a combat athlete. Or for a mere dabbler, for that matter. The latest incarnation of acute trauma occurred during a spirited session of grappling at the good ol’ New York Health and Racquet Club.

Here are some small lessons I’ve learned from that day:

1) A 115 pound weight disadvantage is probably too much. Just maybe.

2) Don’t fight when you’re exhausted (unless you have to, of course).

3) Just because you are “just rolling and having fun” doesn’t mean the other guy is too. In fact, he may actually be trying to kill you.

and most importantly (and I’ve been told this a BILLION times by everyone):

4) Don’t roll (hard) with anybody you don’t know.

Well, long story short, I can’t be mad at anyone but myself. After all, I broke the rules. So let’s walk through the mechanism of injury and see if we can’t get a bead on what happened.

How: We were in a weird north/south position, as I had him in my guard. It probably would’ve looked quite discomforting to any homophobes spectating. I was working my way to taking my opponent’s back, when he caught my leg, put me in his guard, and began cranking away (a bit of imagination is required to visualize this).

Let me interrupt for a moment here to set the stage. At this point my opponent and I had been rolling for a good five minutes; he had attempted several leg and ankle locks and failed, and also nearly caught me in an armbar. I had attempted many armbars but did not pursue them to completion because I feared I would be unable to extend his elbow under control and would thus hurt him if I used any power. I was also pretty tired at this point having played 6 straight rolls with a different opponent prior to this bout. I should’ve had a clue that my current opponent was getting frustrated in my guard when he picked me up and slammed me.

Man, I am really looking stupid at this point.

Well, now that you know the backstory, let’s get back to the north/south-double guard situation. So he is cranking away on my foot, but I’m feeling pretty safe, since he doesn’t appear to have anything, and I don’t feel any crazy pressure on my leg/knee/ankle/foot. My opponent began to transition into what I thought was a kneebar, so I rolled to take it away, thus bending my knee slightly - which put me in a great position for a footlock/toehold type thingy, since my opponent was still apparently trying to twist my foot off. As I stopped rolling along the floor, my opponent gave a mighty twist, and “POP.”

Folks, if you roll with someone and you slap a submission on them, please give them time to tap out. I’d like to mention that it hurt less than one of Francisco’s anklelocks, and he’s a purple belt that outweighs me by 80 pounds. Initially, I thought my ankle joint just popped. After the fact is when the ankle began to hurt. A lot.

The first thing that ran into my head was, “Well, there goes my chances at hitting a 540 this season.” There was some swelling, nothing incredible, and extreme tenderness. I could not support my weight on it; in fact, I could not put any weight on it. My colleagues were kind enough to get me some ice packs, which reduced the pain and swelling considerably.

So, the mechanism of injury: plantar flexion and hyper-inversion of the foot, causing some acute trauma to the lateral ligaments and connective tissue of the ankle. When I got home, I performed an anterior drawer test for the ankle, and it demonstrated some laxity. Indeed, if I plant my foot and draw my leg posteriorly (lean back on my leg), I feel unsteady, like the leg is “slipping” off of my ankle. Oh, and there’s some pain too when I do that. But aside from that, things are looking fine - the pain is minimal (unless I do what I described above), there is some minor swelling around the lateral malleolus of the tibia, and some very slight discoloration (no bruising or dark spots). I can plant my foot normally, and support all my weight on it. There is some compromised Range of Motion in plantar flexion (due to pain) and dorsiflexion (due to the swelling). I feel there has been some adaptive shortening of the Achilles tendon, but perhaps this is due to it just feeling tight.

So, my Cracker-Jack box diagnosis? I think I have a Grade 2 (partial) tear of the Anterior Talofibular ligament. I haven’t done a Talar tilt test yet because the anterior drawer test has a very high percentage of false-positive results, especially if performed less than 48 hours post-injury (which it was). Since I can ambulate without any trouble or pain, I hope it is not as severe as I think. Either way, the treatment is the same, and I have already begun to rehab it via strength training for the joint, none of which is painful, save compressive exercises(such as the leg press), which I have eliminated.

Hey, I’ve just committed a Cardinal Personal Trainer Sin - diagnosis (gasp!).

Well, it looks like a 2-4 week layoff - sigh. At least winter is still (sadly) 3 months away.

8/30/05 update - Thanks to Dr. Warden for spotting my little mistake - my ankle was in inversion and internally rotated.

Above: I’m speeding towards the Evil Russian in the foreground, hoping to scare the bejeezus out of him as I zoom by and snap a picture (Note the digital camera in waterproof case in my right hand. Bear and I are very tech savvy).

…only three more months. That 12′ trampoline should be arriving any day now. We’ll post some shots of us doing our “sports-specific” training on the tramp. And off the tramp, of course - gotta have the spill shots.

With regards to my pre-season conditioning, the only alteration I’ve currently made to my normal routine is the addition of more exercises for the lower body (Hip Ab and Adduction, calf work) and a short routine of jumps off of a small trampoline (180s and 360s, no board, both frontside and backside spins, as clean of a landing as possible). I figure since I’m too busy to engage in Jiujitsu practice, my recovery ability will not be overly taxed with the additional work.

In other news, I think it’s supposed to reach 95 degrees outside tomorrow…

The article details the phenomenon by which trainers are making money hand-over-fist by catering to clientle that demand more than a couple weekly sessions; this new breed of clientle more closely resembles the celebrity client that retains a trainer to be at his beck and call 24/7. By making themselves available to the client at all times, to perform workouts with them, plan and order meals for them, and to essentially keep them active, the personal trainer de extreme (PTX) can demand a much higher rate, collecting large sums for chunks of time (like 2 weeks, for example).

Personally, I think this is great. Guys like Phil Kaplan, Jay Abraham, Ryan Lee, et al, endorse leveraging your time to make more money, and this is certainly a prime example. However, the article does contain a dark side…

Unfortunately, the trainers profiled kind of suck - there’s no two ways about it. To a person, they endorse methods that are slipshod at best, harmful at worst. Do these methods get results? Certainly - otherwise they wouldn’t be in business. But are these methods the best way, or even a good way to attain the aforementioned results? They are most definitely not the safest way. All talk of progression, building a proper foundation for fitness, injury prevention, sound biomechanics, all eschewed for “fun stuff.” Hey, I’m not knocking the fun stuff - but it sure ain’t exercise. There is a definite line between performing exercise to reinforce, strengthen, and improve the body, and doing work.

But all “methods” discussion aside, I say, good for them - God bless their entrepreneurial little hearts!